Room 101: Neil Clark – Oyonnax and former Exeter hooker

1. Banks
Not naming any names but the bank I’m dealing with at the moment is driving me nuts. I’m in the process of buying an 18-hole pitch & putt golf course in Helston, Cornwall, next to my brother’s restaurant, the Wheal Dream. I had hoped that the deal would have been completed by now, as I move to France on June 20 and have loads of things to do. But I’m still waiting for the bank to push the final button to release the funds. The money is all there, the solicitor has been paid etc. etc. but for some reason it is dragging on and on and it’s doing my head in.
TRP verdict:  You’ve every right to be teed off. Get in Room 101.
 2. Cyclists
Cyclists who don’t use cycle lanes when they’re provided really wind me up. I’m convinced they do it on purpose to slow down motorists. If there are two cyclists together they won’t consider riding in single file, oh no that would be far too considerate. Instead they’ll ride alongside each other having a friendly chat while you’re stuck behind them, fuming at the thought of how much quicker your journey would be if they weren’t in the way. Personally, you wouldn’t see me dead on a bike; not when I’ve got a lovely Jag courtesy of my generous sponsors.
TRP verdict:  According to ‘Top Gear’ Jag owners can get away with anything, so park yourself up in Room 101.
3. Poor decisions
I get incredibly frustrated as a player when poor decisions are made by the match officials, particularly at scrum time. As a front rower, you put so much work into the scrum during the week, and that makes it all the more galling when someone, who very often has never played there, incorrectly says you’ve done something wrong and penalises you for it. To be honest I can sympathise with Dylan Hartley. It’s very easy to say something in the heat of the moment when you’ve got up off the ground to find a decision, which could cost your side the game, has gone against you.
TRP verdict:  Probably a bad decision, but you’re out.