1. Man of the Match nominations
There’s a few times when I’ve played in games and thought I’d be in contention for the MOM award only to be overlooked. As far as I can recall I’ve been named MOM once during my time, but I think that was because I managed a rare but eye-catching, lung-bursting run to the try-line for Wasps in a Heineken Cup tie. Generally, the MOM award goes to a flashy back, goal-kicker or even the No.8. Those guys, though, would be the first to admit though that it’s the boys in the front five who do the ‘donkey work’ and have a substantial say in determining how the game goes.
TRP verdict: Sorry to burst your bubble but forwards drinking champagne can’t be right. You’re out.
2. Puerile politicians
I wouldn’t say I’m massively political but I do like to take a bit of an interest in what’s going on in parliament. When I do listen in or watch a little bit on TV I’m always taken aback by the embarrassing behavior of our politicians. Rather than getting on with stuff and sorting out the country – and there’s a fair amount to be done at the moment – they seem to take great delight in just jeering each other. I’d like to think the banter in a rugby changing room is a bit better! I think the whole concept of the Houses of Parliament is a bit dated, really. I know it is a very historical thing but I’m not sure there is even a place for it any more.
TRP verdict: Just think of all the relabelling required on HP sauce bottles if we got rid of one of Britain’s great institutions. You’re out.
3. Part-time activists
I regularly used to drive past a plot of land in Chiswick, near Kew Bridge, which had been earmarked for development. The place was always swarming with what appeared to be private school educated kids who had nothing better to do than just rebel against the system. I’d wager that most of them didn’t know the full ins and outs of what they were protesting about. It winds me up when people can afford to do this all day and then return home to live off their parents when the rest of society has to go out and earn a living. As you can probably tell, you’d do well to get me on any sort of march!
TRP verdict: Peanut hugging (rugby) rather than tree hugging is definitely more our cup of tea. You’re in.