Room 101: Glenn Delaney – London Irish forwards coach

1. Doorway blockers
Health and Safety wouldn’t let you block a fire escape so why are people allowed to stand and chat in doorways of supermarkets or restaurants?
It happens virtually every time I go out and it’s gone on ever since I first came to the UK 15 years ago. Without being ageist it’s normally old people who, upon having a chance meeting with someone they know, proceed to have a lifelong conversation totally oblivious to the fact that they’re getting in everyone’s way. It’s a major irritant of mine. People who aren’t aware of what’s going on around them per se really bug me. It’s the same walking down the street to be fair. I’m normally in a rush to get places, but quite often the person in front either checks my stride or, worse still, halts me stone dead in my tracks, Michael Schumacher style, after swerving to block me.
TRP verdict:  Intimidated by OAP door men, shame on you. You’re out!
2. Country driving
I drive through countless villages in and out of Market Harborough and the speed limit in that part of the world chops and changes from 60mph to 30mph at regular intervals. Not that it seems to have any effect on the Sunday drivers who go a steady 40mph regardless of what the sign says. The worse thing is that you can’t normally do anything about it because the roads are so narrow and there’s nowhere to pass. It brings to mind my favourite Lee Evans skit about farmers and their tractors. Some are very aware and will considerately pull over whereas others adopt a ‘they shall not pass mentality’. As Lee points out, we don’t go driving cars all over their fields so why should they be allowed on our roads?
TRP verdict:  Fast track yourself to Room 101.
3. Inflatable fans
While I was at Nottingham our marketing people came up with a brilliant solution to help fill Meadow Lane: inflatable fans.
I think we brought in about 2,000 blow-up spectators to pack out the Family Stand for a game against Exeter. As a one-off it worked well and gained us loads of publicity, but it’s not something I’d like to see repeated because there’s no replacement for the real deal.
It looked brilliant but there was an eerie silence coming from that end, prompting Exeter fans to chant: ‘You’re not singing anymore!’
TRP verdict:  You’ve every reason to spit your ‘dummy’ out. You’re in!