Room 101: Brett McNamee – Old Albanians hooker

1. Pre-match scrum chat from refs
It annoys me when referees come in to the changing room just before kick-off and try to give you a lesson in scrummaging. Most have never played in the forwards before but they insist on giving you a masterclass in scrummaging technique. Sometimes you feel like you are back at school, and as a teacher I spend enough time there anyway! When it comes to the game itself quite often they don’t apply half the things they’ve banged on about. A good ref knows what he’s looking for, which is for the front row to stay square.
TRP verdict: Pack up your troubles and head into Room 101
2. Unwritten physio room protocol
Some of the young pups in our squad need educating on physio room protocol. With age is catching up on me, I’m now 30, I’m quite a frequent visitor to the physio room, and there’s nothing more annoying than seeing someone lying on the physio bed getting a leg massage or their back loosened when they’re not actually injured. Rugby injuries should be seen to first and gym injuries second. I suppose you could throw in gym etiquette, too, Ollie Marchon is partial to gym selfies of him fitness modelling which is wrong on every level!
TRP verdict: You’re in again … at a stretch
3. Asking for directions
Luckily the arrival of the I-Phone has lessened the need to ask for directions when you’re driving to somewhere unfamiliar. The whole business of asking for directions is awkward, from the moment you beckon a stranger in the street to ask where x, y and z is to the actual process of them trying to guide you there when, five seconds in, it’s pretty clear they’ve got as much of an idea as you. Social etiquette means you have to sit there waiting patiently while they um and ah. I normally lose concentration after the second, ‘turn left’.
TRP verdict: It’s a full house. There’s only one way you’re going – straight into Room 101.