Room 101: Nick Evans – Harlequins fly-half

1. Open Doors
For some reason my missus seems incapable/unwilling to shut opened doors. This applies to wardrobes, food cupboards, kitchen drawers, fridges and microwaves. When I say anything she says she has too many other things to worry about to check every door has shut properly. Seriously, how hard is it?! I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve banged my foot on the drawer under the bed when I’ve gone upstairs to bed in the cover of darkness after staying up late to watch the football. Thankfully I’ve never hurt my kicking foot too badly!
TRP verdict: It’s an open and shut case, you’re in.
2. Lack of punctuality
I’ve always lived by the saying, if you’re five minutes early you’re five minutes late. I try everything within my powers to be ready for an appointment or a meeting in good time, and it annoys me when other people don’t abide by the same ‘rules’. The boys at Harlequins are pretty good to be fair, probably because we have a fine system in place for tardiness. You have to spin a wheel which has lots of different punishments on it if you’re late, such as: a £100 or £50 fine, cleaning out the ice bath, wearing a suit for a week. The only time I was late I had to be coffee waiter for the coaches. Never again!
TRP verdict: Laters! You’re in again.
3. Food Thieves
I get riled when I order chips and whoever I’m eating with doesn’t, only for them then to help themselves once the food arrives. It’s a bit of a running joke in our household where my wife Sally and the kids are always trying to pick bits off my plate to wind me up. Google ‘Joey doesn’t share food’ – from Friends, and you’ll get my drift!
TRP verdict: You’ve clearly got a lot on your plate, so we’ll let this one go.