Room 101: Karl Dickson – Harlequins scrum-half

1. IKEA
We moved into our new home three weeks ago and I’m up to my ears in IKEA boxes and their useless instructions. For me the whole process of buying flat pack furniture is painful. Going to the store is bad enough as you are surrounded by other like-minded blokes who would clearly rather be anywhere else but there. But the torture doesn’t end there because you then have to take everything back home with you and try and put it all together again. I’m not a fan of DIY at all, probably because I’m no good at it.
TRP verdict:  You’ve nailed your first selection.
2. George Robson’s banter
Every time you see him you know he’s going to start dishing out the banter; frankly, it’s as predictable as his chat, which is awful. When his banter is aimed at me he tends to focus on my hair, the fact I’m small, and the way I talk: he seems to think I’ve got a squeaky northern accent. Trouble is, there is loads of ammo to aim in his direction: he’s really pale, bald, is tiny for a second row and he likes to hang out on the wing. Recently we’ve taken to calling him ‘Bagel’ (as in zero carries).
TRP verdict:  He can ‘baldy’ go where no other second row has trodden…in Room 101
3. Time wasted on scrums
I genuinely believe that we need to stop the clock or do something similar when the scrum collapses. Frankly, as a scrum-half I get bored waiting to put the ball in while the referee issues his umpteenth lecture to the front rows, so I don’t know how the paying public feel. Scrums are killing the game. If the clock was stopped we could recover the 5-10 minutes that gets lost through the countless collapsed scrums and resets.
TRP verdict:  Yes, they’re a real bind. That’s 3 out of 3.