Room 101: Adam Cave – Moseley hooker

1. OAPS
Old Age Pensioners have a terrible habit of wasting yours and everybody else’s time when you or they least need it. I appreciate that having all that spare time on your hands enables you to take life at a slower pace but they need to understand that the rest of the world is still working for their piece of the quiet life to come. My biggest gripe is that OAP’s still insist on doing their shopping on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday. You’ve had all week! I/we only have two days and have got other things to do.
TRP verdict:  Call us ‘old-school’ but OAPs deserve a bit more respect! You’re out.
2. Dirty dog owners
People that do not clean up after their pets deserve to go into Room 101. Not only does this aggravate me through my work as a grounds maintenance contractor, where cutting grass is bad enough at the best of times, it also winds me up when I’m out walking our labrador, Baron (so called because he has nothing in his head), and I see other people pretending not to see their animal doing its business, pretending to be on the phone or simply looking the other way. I really do hope that they tread in some of their own stuff and walk it into their homes. It’s your dog, you clean up after it!
TRP verdict:  These people deserve to be in the doghouse in Room 101.
3. Over-complicated lineout calls
Rugby is supposed to be quite a simple game to play, but over the last few years we’ve made a massive step towards American Football-style plays through the use of over-complicated lineout calls. Some calls are coded to such an extent nowadays that where you throw the ball – the front, middle or the back – can be dictated by anything from the letters of someone’s mother’s maiden name to the difference between the shorts size of the first man in the lineout and the last man divided by three! In the old days it was a lot simpler: you’d get the scrum-half using his fingers on his shorts, the number of digits determining where the ball would be thrown to, or you’d go by the prop’s body language. Alternatively, the hooker would just shout numbers from
1 to 7. Hookers should still call the lineouts in my opinion as they can see what the best option is better than anyone else. Everyone looks to blame the hooker for a missed lineout anyway, so why not let him have a chance of hitting a jumper he has called for? Keep it simple and it works just as well.
TRP verdict:  You’ve thrown yourself a lifeline after a poor start, that’s 2 out of 3.