Room 101: David Strettle – England & Saracens winger

1. Splash!
Has there ever been a more pointless TV programme than the Saturday night light ‘entertainment’ offering Splash? We had it on the TV on the team coach on the way back from Gloucester last weekend and I found out that Matt Stevens was invited to take part two years ago. Now he would have made a big splash, literally so, not like the Z-list celebrities they have on at the moment. I don’t know how they manage to spin the programme out for a whole hour when it only takes seconds to perform a dive.
TRP verdict:  Take a bow, not a dive…you’re in Room 101.
2. Wigan RL
As a proud Warrington fan it would do me a world of good if I didn’t have to put up with the banter I get from my Wigan-loving Saracens team-mates Owen Farrell and Chris Ashton. I admit there is a touch of jealousy in me making this choice because of all the success they’ve enjoyed relative to what we’ve achieved as a club. Warrington is still falling short of its potential.
TRP verdict:  Sorry, this is just Pie (eating) in the Sky.
3. Cricket
This may sound unpatriotic but I like it when England lose at cricket. When we won the Ashes in the summer cricket was all over the papers and, as a non-cricketing fan, it did my head in. Now that we’ve been whitewashed 5-0 hopefully things will go quiet on the media front for a while. Why do I not like cricket? Well, where do you want me to start? The fact that nothing much seems to happen is a pretty good reason on its own. Secondly, most of the people who go to ‘watch’ cricket are more bothered about drinking and fancy dress than the play. Thirdly, in what other sport can a match possibly last for five days yet still end up in a draw?
TRP verdict:  Your case is dismissed.