Room 101: Steve Lawrie – Edinburgh hooker

1. Running into touch
With the Murrayfield pitch being as wide as they come you’d think there would be no danger of players running into touch, but clowns like Tim Visser still manage to do this quite a lot. When I was coached by Frank Hadden he’d fine the guilty party a fiver, which was a good idea in my book. I don’t mind wingers backing themselves to go around on the outside of an opponent, but if they choose to do that they’ve got to pull it off otherwise it’s like giving away an instant turnover – unless you can steal the resulting throw-in at the lineout.
TRP verdict:  It was touch and go, but you’re in.
2. Personal space invaders
People that have a lack of special awareness get on my nerves because I really value my own space. Our second row, Grant Gilchrist, is a terrible one for that. I know he’s 6ft 7in tall and has a big turning arc, but he is as clumsy as they come. He’s always treading on my feet, even in the scrum, or bumping into me. People that get right in your face when they’re talking to you unnerve me. One of my mates is known for this; he gets so close you can pretty much tell what he’s eaten for breakfast that day.
TRP verdict:  Again this was ‘cheek by jowl’, but on close inspection it’s worthy of selection in Room 101.
3. Footballers feigning injury
I watch bits and bobs of Premier League football on TV and, as a proud Scotsman, follow Hearts. However, the curse of players rolling around in supposed agony and simulating injury is universal; it happens no matter what country the match is being played in. These footballers should have a serious word with themselves because it is shameful. I can’t imagine the stick I’d get as a rugby player at the Monday morning debrief if I’d been rolling around on the floor clutching my head every time someone had made minimal contact with me – if at all. Rugby matches would last forever if we did what footballers do.
TRP verdict:  No dramas, that’s 3 out of 3!