Dream Team: Don Barrell – Bedford and former Saracens No.8

1. Rhys Gill – Surprise package who’s proved a lot of people wrong. But I have no idea how he’s made it to international level with such a horrendous physique!
2. Schalk Brits – Simply the best all-round player in the Premiership. Also impossible not to like him as a bloke too, which is sickening.
3. Kevin Yates – Cheating a bit because he played more on the loosehead, but he mentored me at Sarries and taught me that you could drink a shed load and still be a pro sportsman.
4. Hugh Vyvyan – So unlucky not to receive more recognition. Just a superb athlete who resembled a human giraffe which helped a great deal in the lineout.
5. Richard Mansell – Old mate of mine at Watford Grammar. Provided one of the funniest sights in rugby. Richard had a massive body and tiny arms, like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Great ball-carrier but struggled catching above his head.
6. Taine Randell – Phenomenal player who could read the game so well, which is no surprise as a former All Black captain, and liked to hang out in the backs, which was fun to watch.
7. Richard Hill – Even more miserable now at Sarries than when he was playing, but he was, in my opinion, the best back rower ever. It would be a crime not to pick him.
8. Don Barrell – Everyone enjoys an albino rugby player, so I am choosing myself. At least then I could cheer everyone up with my pale legs.
9. Neil de Kock – Neil has been the best scrum-half in the Premiership over the past five years. I cannot believe he has not been rewarded with more Springbok caps.
10. Jake Sharp – Creates an incredible amount of space for his Bedford teammates and was responsible for loads of line-breaks last season. He is still young and has a good career ahead.
11. Josh Lewsey – One of England‘s absolute greats and another Watford Grammar boy, which helps his cause. He is an extremely hard bloke that you don’t want to mess with.
12. Adam Powell – We joined the Saracens academy together when we were 13. He works so hard on his game and I am confident that there is much more to come this season.
13. Mathew Tait – Mat was in my England Under-16 side and just used to rip teams apart. He is still rapid and can do some unbelievable things on the ball. A very special player.
14. Kameli Ratuvou – Kameli has the ability to steamroller people with amazing core strength; English players just don’t seem to be able to do that. He is a very quiet man but a serious talent.
15. James Pritchard – Leads Bedford so well, but also has unbelievable finishing ability. Some of the tries he scored last year with chip-and-chases were unreal.