Room 101: Freddie Burns – Leicester fly-half

1. Car decoration
I don’t mind car drivers supporting their sports team by putting up a sticker in the rear window, and I must confess to having tinted back windows, but other forms of car ‘decoration’ really annoy me. The eyelashes you see on Beetles and the like really annoy me. It’s a car not an animal for heaven’s sake! Massive dice hanging down from the dashboard break me too, and you can throw in people who have a massive spoiler fitted or drill a hole in their exhaust to make it sound louder. My neighbour wakes me up every time she drives down the street at midnight; it sounds more like an earthquake than a car engine.
TRP verdict: This car nonsense grinds our gears too.
2. Wind
Wind kills a game of rugby. At least when it is raining, you can slide the ball into the corners. But if it is blowing a gale, like it did against Sale at our place last year, kicking is next to impossible. Any worries about kicking stats, however, are secondary to what it does to your hair. I’ve got a comb over and I’m okay if the wind is blowing left to right because it pushes it down. But if it blows the other way it leaves it looking like a dustbin lid, flapping around. These things matter when you’re a fly-half!
TRP verdict: Sorry you’ve blown your chances of making it 2 out of 2. Mastering different conditions is all part of the game. 
3. Lateness
When someone’s late, it breaks me. Even more so if they fail to tell you. There’s no excuse in this day and age, a quick text puts any doubts about the meeting time to rest. I hate it if I’m running a bit late, and you can guarantee I’ll get stuck behind a tractor while negotiating my way out of Market Harborough.
TRP verdict: It’s time to check into Room 101.