Room 101: Lewis Webb – Taunton scrum-half

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1. Unusable pencils
I’m a primary school teacher at a school just outside so pencils are an everyday necessity. I always stick with an HB because if they’re too sharp, they break straight away and are no use to anyone. Similarly, pencils that are too short are a waste of time. If it’s shorter than my ‘pinkie’, it’s got to go. The pencils you get in Argos, for example, are ridiculous.
TRP verdict: Sorry, the writing’s on the wall for this one.
2. Non-dunking biscuits
As a teacher tea and biscuits go hand-in-hand in the staff room, so choosing the right type is vital. There’s nothing worse than seeing a soggy mess at the bottom of your cuppa. It’s the same with the Titans where Messrs Tony Yapp and Keith Brooking, two biscuit connoisseurs, run ‘Biscuit Club’. It’s a hard Club (excuse the pun) to break into and if you ever brought along a Rich Tea you’d be straight out the door. For their durability, a caramel McVitie or a HobNob is just the biscuit in the dunking stakes.
TRP verdict: You can take a small crumb of comfort from the fact this is going in.
3. Half-time
I was toying between this and non-game related fitness i.e. running just for the sake of it. However, I think I’ll go for half-time. Now I’m getting on a bit at 27 years of age you probably think I’d be appreciative of having a 10-15 minute breather. Not so. The older you get the more you tend to seize up once you stop moving, so getting rid of half-time would suit me just fine. It’s even worse in tournaments when you have a two-hour break between matches.
TRP verdict: Really? Give us a break!

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