The former Wasps, Bath, Gran Parma, L’Aquila, London Welsh, Massy and Grasse lock chooses the the best XV he has played with or against…
1. Andrew Sheridan – An excellent guitar player, we could have a great jam sess on the bus home. Also an absolute beast in the gym and on the field!
2. Schalk Brits – Has to have been on the shortlist for the most complete rugby player who ever lived. A hooker who stayed in the back field to receive kicks, in one of the best teams in the world? He was also a solid set-piece player, and apparently one of the nicest blokes you could meet.
3. Craig Dowd – Achieved (very nearly) everything there is to achieve in rugby, and was a kind of mentor to me at Wasps. Great guy, and one of the hardest working players I’ve met. Also I made his dream team once way back when, thanks to my bus-ride guitar playing!
4. Martin Purdy – An injured player in the stand once overheard two old boys talking about the game I was having a stormer in. “That Martin Purdy, he does try very hard.” I would have preferred “isn’t Martin so effortlessly talented” but beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll give it my all!
5. Stefan Purdy – It’s a dream team right? My dad is an actual giant. Standing at 6’9”, a playing weight of over 120kg, and by the accounts of former Wasps and Harlequins team-mates, one of the nastiest players around back in an era when playing in the forwards meant running up and down peoples backs in rucks and making sure you punched your opposite number more times than he punched you.
6. Schalk Burger – Fabulous hair (back in the day). When we played against the Stormers, he growled like a lion every time he tackled someone. Which was a lot.
7. Jim Scaysbrook – Atop bloke who was already held together by tape in his 20s. Very tough, and stubbornly refused to ever do a spin pass.
8. Ed Jackson – Avery close mate of mine, and effortlessly talented player. I played with Ed in the 2nd XV a few times in Bath, then for two seasons at London Welsh when he scored a hatful of tries. He broke his neck a few years ago, and his incredible recovery has inspired many, and raised fortunes for charity.
9. Matt Dawson – One of those guys that everyone in other teams hated. At Wasps we certainly did, until he turned up to play for us. Then we discovered that he is actually a legend! Your quintessential yappy 9 who bossed his forwards around. His Justin Hawkins costume will go down in history.
10. Jimmy Gopperth – Iplayed with Jimmy in North Harbour in New Zealand. You could tell that he was a class act but our pack wasn’t the strongest so we never saw the best of him. Scored a ludicrous amount of points in the Prem.
11. Miles Benjamin – Miles was cheating when he was at Worcester. He had a set of railway lines installed just inside the touchline and it was impossible to knock him off them and into touch.
12. Mathieu Bastareaud – His power was utterly unrea- sonable. Plus I hear he’s a bon vivant so he’d add something after the match too.
13. Fraser Waters – Key to our blitz defence at Wasps when we won everything. ‘Lord Farquaad’ probably didn’t get the England recognition that he deserved. The Harrow School accent in an after-match interview is gold.
14. Steve Hanley – Aprolific try scorer. When we played Sale we would always stop Mark Cueto and Jason Robinson from scoring, but not Steve. I want him on my side this time!
15. Edd Thrower – He’s my best mate, but also a massively talented full-back. Extremely brave, strong under the high ball, and he had the biggest boot in the Prem. Once scored four tries for Wasps against Bath, much to the chagrin of Shaun Edwards – in the video analysis: “Oh no, not Thrower again!”
